So I am now sitting in my house after getting all dolled up for a date which was cancelled. Sure it sounds like he had a good excuse but my guess is he isn't interested. I am frustrated as hell and I guess i am sick of complaining to my friends. So, I decided to complain into the vast world of the internet. To remain anonymous and to finally say all the thoughts in my head.
Thought 1 -- games. everyone says they don't like playing them but then go right ahead and play them. Myself included. Here is the deal. I am a female and i like to have sex. Not crazy kinky sex but good old mind blowing sex! Which means that i am more likely than most to jump into bed if i am attracted. Here is the best part -- i don't confuse it with love. There is a HUGE difference between the lustful sex in the beginning and intimate sex when your in love with someone. I realize that kind of makes me like a dude because sex doesnt mean everything to me but it is what it is. So what do i get for my enjoyment of sex -- getting used. I get guys who just dont bother with the other part of building a relationship. Leaving me with option to hold out (which i consider a game since it isn't what i want to do) until said guy can prove that he is in it for me. WTF.
I am sick of people telling me that i have to be myself, except for the whole sex thing.........isn't that not being myself? Please dont make the mistake of thinking that i am just looking for way to justify my slutty ways. I can still count all of the guys i have slept with on my hands.
More thoughts to come.....
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